Your call is important

ImptCallThank you for your call.  Due to unusually high volume, our representatives are all busy taking customer calls on other lines.  Your call is important to us, so please hold the line while we serve other customers.  One of our operators will be with as soon as possible.  Remember, your call is very important to us.

In fact…

Your call is so important to us that we will play a variety of musical styles to entertain you and stupefy you while you wait.  Please hold the line.  We look forward to talking to you.

Your call is so important to us that we have recorded several different people, both male and female, with impossibly smooth voices to remind you that your call is important to us.

Your call is so important to us that we have come up with 45 different ways to tell you how much we regret keeping you waiting.  We look forward to serving you.

Your call is so important to us that we will be cutting you off after about ten minutes so you can stop and reconsider whether you really need to call us.

Your call is so important to us that the tunes you are hearing have been specifically developed to stay in your head for the next two weeks reminding you that your call is important to us.  We look forward to serving you.

Your call is so important to us that, if you start actually enjoying any of these tunes, we will interrupt them to remind you that your call is important to us.

However, your call is not important enough to us to justify spending enough money to hire sufficient operators to handle the unusually high call volume that we have pretty much every day.

Have a great day!

(This post was written while I was on hold waiting to talk to a customer service rep.  I thought it would be a good use of my time.  Plus, all of the things mentioned happened during the call.  In the end, they couldn’t help.  But I’m consoled by the fact that my call was important.)

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About rickconti

It's not about me, remember?
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2 Responses to Your call is important

  1. Linda says:

    Ha, Ha. Would it be awful of me to be glad you were on hold long enough to write this?

    • rickconti says:

      Naw. It was fun and I was overdue with a post anyway. I don’t like using the blog to vent, but this situation is so universally familiar, that I thought I’d have fun with it. Also, people tend to blame the poor operators. It’s important to note that they suffer almost as much as we do. It’s the employers who are at fault.

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