Phone ramblings

tomlinFor no apparent reason other than wanting to come up with an inane and innocuous post, the subject of telephones has been on my mind of late.  Thus I hereby subject you to random subjective musings on the subject of telephones, both landline and cell.

Does anyone else hate calling people’s cell phones?  You never have any idea where you’re reaching someone.  The callee could be in the bathroom, at a movie, at a funeral, or in the middle of some other activity they don’t care to be bothered at.  Sure, we should all turn off or otherwise silence our phones in sensitive situations like these, but do you always do so?  I thought not.  So, even though it’s the other person’s fault that they didn’t disable their phone, you can’t help but feel guilty that you caught some guy in the middle of, say, his arraignment.

Speaking of which…

We all used to hate answering machines.  If you wanted to talk to a machine, you’d interview Mitt Romney… Oops, that was insensitive.  Let’s say instead, you’d talk to your toaster.  (Six of one…)  These days, however, when the called phone rings (even though none “ring” anymore) I find myself more and more often whispering the prayer, “Don’t answer!  Go to the machine!  Please don’t answer.”  Admit it, that’s most of the time for you, isn’t it?

Speaking of which…

What’s with the cell phone messages that say, “I can’t come to the phone right now…”?  You don’t have to “come to the phone”!  The phone comes with you.  Punch in, folks!  It’s 2013.

Speaking of which…

Shouldn’t all answering systems give you the opportunity to erase your first message and try again?  Maybe I’m alone here, but almost every message I leave sounds like a rambling drunk.  It takes at least three tries to even approach coherency.  The biggest problem is that I don’t know how to end.  I’m getting no feedback, so I babble on incessantly until I’m convinced I’ve made myself clear or the answering system has run out of memory, whichever comes first.  When I’m finally done, I say goodbye, hang up, and slap myself in the head.

Speaking of which…

Saying goodbye on the phone is not for the faint of heart.  There is a well established, though little understood, protocol to ending a (live) phone conversation.  First you have to initiate the ending.  Comments such as “I should let you go.”, meaning, “Let me go!” are good, as is a long, drawn out “Welllllllllll…”  That means it’s time to launch into the interminable conclusion.  Try anything you want (and you’ll probably go through them all): “See you later”, “Take care”, “Good talking to you”, “Have a good one”, “We’ll see ya”, or any of the other trite-and-true phrases, but you ain’t going nowhere till you both say, “Bye-bye”.

Speaking of which…



About rickconti

It's not about me, remember?
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3 Responses to Phone ramblings

  1. Bruce Farrell says:

    The fact that you and I still call people dates us, I’m afraid.

  2. Nikki CB says:

    Ha! Love it.

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