Well, it’s been a whole year since our last Christmas letter. It seems like no more than twelve months. How time flies! We hope your holiday season is filled with great memories, lots of fruitcakes, and few incidents with law enforcement.
Although we haven’t seen many of you in the past year or even the past decade, we just knew you’d want to hear all about our family. It’s been a busy year, which is why we haven’t visited or written or called any of you.
Once you read what we’ve been up to, we know you’ll understand. We sure do!
Billy is our big boy, having just turned 46. We love having him back at home after his dishonorable discharge from the Coast Guard last May. His telemarketing job selling pharmaceuticals has been going fine. He works so hard, making calls into the wee hours. Don’t be surprised if you hear from him some night!
Bobby, now 45, is doing great! His parole officer has nothing but good things to say about him. The ankle bracelet – which he wears around his neck just for fun (what a hoot!) – is due to come off any month now, depending on the next hearing. Another good sign: He’s thinking of starting his own religion! He’s always been the most spiritual member of the clan.
Bonny (our surprise!) is 8 already. Hard to believe it’s been eight years since she came into this world in the middle of the monster truck rally. She’s really sprouted since last year. At 5’10”, she’s able to play youth hockey with the older kids. All those “vitamins” have really paid off. She’s also taking belly dancing lessons and is active in local politics. As you can tell, she keeps us on our toes!
Dad is still unemployed after the fish and bait shop went belly-up six years ago, but he keeps himself plenty busy in the garage with his little projects. We still aren’t sure what he’s up to out there but as long as he’s occupied, we’re all happy. Also, as long as the wind is blowing in the right direction, we don’t get the smells or smoke in the house as much. The great thing is that the most interesting people are always coming by to visit him. One gentleman with an eye patch and kerchief (Bonny calls him our pirate friend!) drops in daily, carrying the same worn valise. He must be a very good friend.
Mom passes her time keeping house, playing cards with her friends, and adding to her collection of vodka bottles. It’s amazing the variety and quantity of bottles out there and she’s always looking for more!
Have a great Holiday Season. Never forget the reason we celebrate: so we can fill our homes with junk that will break down by this time next year. Then we can start it all over again! Woohoo!
All our love…